THE FIRST 5 THINGS TO DO AFTER GETTING ENGAGED
This post may contains affiliate links to products and services.
WHAT TO DO AFTER GETTING ENGAGED
So… you just got engaged, congratulations! A milestone that is the start of an exciting journey towards marriage, and also an occasion that can bring a flood of emotions from sheer bliss to utter stress. As I stood in shock following the engagement, my mind raced with many thoughts. Amidst the joy and anticipation, I found myself questioning, “What now?!” In this blog post, I will share the first 5 things my fiance and I did after he got down on one knee. Along with a FREE printable questionnaire to help narrow down your non-negotiable wedding details!
“I just got engaged and I am so overwhelmed. Where do I even start?”-Haley
I received this exact question on social media, and I think it perfectly describes a common feeling that so many brides share.
CELEBRATE & GATHER INSPIRATION
Celebrate
Following the proposal, we had an entire trip to Europe to enjoy since we got engaged on day one of our excursion. Since we had little to no service while traveling from country to country, it forced us to be in the moment with each other without feeling the pressure of needing to make so many decisions at once.
Once we got back home we took time to celebrate with family and friends before starting any major research or booking appointments. It was also leading into the holiday season and we were both busy with work and family events so we did not feel a rush to jump into action. Check out the Engagement Keepsakes to Add to Your Cart post to find fun products to have when celebrating the moments in between “yes” and “I do”!
Gathering Inspiration
During this blissful time of celebration, we began gathering inspiration for how we wanted our big day to look. This mostly consisted of scouring Pinterest between flights or in the evenings after work. I created a mood board on Canva for each wedding aesthetic we liked and it brought our vision to life. During the initial gathering inspiration stage, we did not nail down any decisions but we got a better idea of what each of us was drawn towards which made the next steps easier.
For help identifying your wedding style, see this article here complete with a wedding style worksheet for you and your partner!
2. LIST YOUR NON-NEGOTIABLES
One of the stressful aspects of wedding planning can be option overload. The choices are endless from eloping in a small mountain town to having a 500-person ceremony in a church. After gathering initial inspiration, it can be helpful to sit down with your partner and list out any non-negotiables for your wedding day. These can help sculpt your big day by narrowing down the size, location, time of year, etc. Having these key items listed can help remove some options from the table. These aren’t necessarily little specific details, but rather criteria that you cannot live without and are less likely to want to compromise on. Some examples of non-negotiables may be:
“I only pictured myself getting married in the fall.”
“I want my grandparents to be able to attend, so it cannot be out of state, as they cannot travel.”
“I feel anxious in large groups, and I want to be relaxed in the moment so I only want immediate family and friends to attend the ceremony”
3. IDENTIFY YOUR TOTAL BUDGET
As the excitement of saying "yes" to forever settles in, there comes a pivotal moment in every engaged couple's journey: identifying the wedding budget. While it may not be the most glamorous part of wedding planning, understanding your financial boundaries is a crucial first step toward crafting the celebration of your dreams. One of my biggest tips is to be realistic. As you delve into the world of wedding planning, research the average costs associated with various elements like venues, catering, attire, and entertainment in your desired location. This will give you a realistic understanding of what to expect and help you allocate your budget accordingly. If you set an aggressively low budget for yourself prior to seeing the going rate for vendors in your area, you may set yourself up for frustration and disappointment. This is not to say weddings cannot be beautiful and perfect on a tight budget, because they can! In fact, a phrase we often used to keep our budget in check throughout the planning process was “it is about the marriage, not the day itself”. I am all about helping brides create the day of their dreams on a realistic and manageable budget.
See “Unexpected Wedding Expenses to Add to Your Budget” for commonly forgotten wedding budget items.
The foundation of any successful budgeting process is open and honest communication. Sit down with your partner and discuss your individual expectations, priorities, and financial resources. Before diving into the budgeting details, take stock of your financial resources. Consider contributions from any family members, your own savings, and any other potential sources of income. Having a clear understanding of your financial landscape will empower you to make informed decisions and allocate funds where they matter most to you. The initial budget can be a total number to start with, prior to getting into the specifics of each category. A helpful breakdown of wedding expense categories, spending tracker, and budgeting pages are included in my “Ultimate Wedding Planning Binder”.
Budgeting and spending trackers are included in the “Ultimate Wedding Planning Binder Template” designed to help keep the spending organized and accountable while looking beautiful!
4. SIGN UP FOR A WEDDING PLANNING PLATFORM & RESEARCH MORE SPECIFICALLY
There are several wedding planning platforms to choose from, with the most widely known being The Knot and Zola. We chose to use the Knot for our wedding. I appreciated their user-friendly experience and the variety of registry options that seamlessly linked with our wedding website. Not only did we use the platform to create our website and registry, but we also ordered pre-addressed envelopes and conducted most of our initial research using their vendor searching platform. Many vendors included their pricing sheets in their profiles through the website so we could easily see if they were in our budget before making an effort to get in touch.
This leads to the second step of number four, which is conducting research at home. Life is busy which is why it is great that so much of wedding planning these days can be done from the comfort of your couch. We started first by deciding on a venue and we reached out to several options before narrowing them down without needing to tour all of them. Looking at vendor profiles and researching venues can be daunting and exhausting, so we tried to make it fun by having a fun drink and watching wedding classics: Father of the Bride, Bridesmaids, 27 Dresses, Bride Wars, etc.
5. CREATE AN INITIAL GUEST LIST
Start by dreaming big – envision the people you would love to witness and share in your special day. Think about family, close friends, and those who hold a significant place in your hearts. Once you have this expansive list, be prepared to make some tough decisions. While it's tempting to invite everyone, practical considerations like venue capacity and budget constraints often necessitate a bit of editing.
Reflect on the type of celebration you and your partner envision. Is it an intimate gathering or a grand affair with an extensive guest list? Your wedding vision will influence the number of guests you can comfortably accommodate.
It may help to categorize your potential guests into two groups – the 'must-haves' and the 'nice-to-haves.' The 'must-haves' are the individuals without whom your celebration would feel incomplete. The 'nice-to-haves' may include acquaintances, colleagues, or distant relatives. This categorization can be a helpful guideline as you refine your list.
How do you feel about plus ones- Do all single guests receive a plus one? Do all adults receive a plus one? Are plus ones reserved for those who are engaged or in serious long-term relationships? Are there no plus ones?
How do you feel about kids in attendance- Are all kids invited? Are only kids of close family members invited? Are no kids under 18 years old invited?
These questions are a personal preference- and that is the beauty of it being YOUR wedding, YOU get to decide what feels right for the two of you. Personally, we gave our plus-ones on a case-by-case basis and we invited most children. We created our initial guest list together and then sent the list to our parents to see if there were any special people close to them they would like included. Having an initial guest list gives you a number range to narrow venues down with. Once the planning gets further along, you can limit the list down as you see fit before sending out save the dates!
BONUS #6: INSURE YOUR RING!
I did not include this in the first five steps that we did, because my fiance already completed this step for us before he proposed! In the hustle and bustle of wedding planning, taking a moment to secure insurance for your engagement and wedding rings can offer peace of mind and financial protection.
